Pam's Quest to be Cancer Free in 2013....

Pam's Quest....

This September, Pam and I will celebrate our 35th anniversary.  When we celebrated our 34th, we probably felt that 35 was in the bag.  Unfortunately, life has a way of quickly changing our perspective. 

Since April of 2012, I had been working at a new job in Bakersfield, California.  We accepted the position with the understanding that it would probably take a year to relocate the family.  So, I began the process of being away from the day to day experience of home life and making it home for 2 or 3 weekends every month.  Not exactly a fun experience, but we do what we have to...for the family.

Unbeknownst to me, Pam was having some problems and the went to the doctor in mid November. On the Friday before Thanksgiving, Pam called and we chatted about me coming home for Thanksgiving, how Mandi was doing and our plans for the holiday should a grandchild decide to arrive during the week.  Toward the end of the call, she stated, "Oh by the way, I've got to have some surgery."  "What"? I asked not really sure I heard her correctly.  She explained that she had gone to the doctor and they completed some tests and found she had a mass on her uterus and she was meeting with a Doctor Monday to discuss surgery.  I was planning to come home on Wednesday and she made it clear that there was no need to come home early. Needless to say, I came home on Sunday.

We met with the Doctor on Monday and he felt that it was closer to her ovaries but did not think it was ovarian cancer.  He seemed optimistic that it would only be a benign tumor so we left on a hopeful note with the surgery planned for early December, after Thanksgiving and the birth of Mandi's baby.  After telling the kids, we had additional visitors for the holidays and enjoyed the arrival of Emery June Mullis.  We were concerned about Mom but still optimistic.

The doctor recommended a complete hysterectomy so in early December, Pam had the surgery.  It went well but it is not an easy surgery and takes awhile for full recovery. The Doctor felt after seeing the tumor that it would be malignant but treatable.  However, the pathologist was not as certain...so we waited for confirmation.  We didn't realize that it would be the last positive news we would have for a long tme.

When the results came, it confirmed that it was malignant but it had spread from some other source.  Not good. On December 24, we took Pam to be tested for stomach cancer.  During the preparation, a nurse mentioned something about a Krukenberg tumor so I began to look it up on my Ipad.  It didn't take long to realize that if it was that, it was not going to be good.  Following the test, I asked the Doctor to step out and he pretty much confirmed that Pam had stomach cancer.  On the way home, Pam and I had a very difficult conversation.  I have never been so depressed, concerned and worried.  Our hearts were pretty heavy on Christmas Eve.  It was difficult to try to be happy and we didn't do a lot of our normal Christmas Eve activities.  When you get punched in the gut, it takes a while to catch your breath.

After a restless night, Pam and I decided that we were going to make Christmas Day special and not worry about the future on this special day. That seemed to help a lot.  We had a great time with all of the family around except for Shaun and his family.  We had a special family discussion on the stories we liked most about the Savior.  This definitely helped lift our spirits.  The Spirit was definitely with us.

Normally, we get Christmas cards out and wish everyone a Happy New Year during the week between Christmas and New Years.  We apologize for missing this year but our minds and efforts were focused on what we could do to help Pam.  We made arrangements to go to the Huntsman Cancer Clinic.  We were hopeful that there would be some chemo or treatment that would cure the cancer.  Unfortunately, the Doctor was direct and clear.  They would not be able to cure stomach cancer.  This best they could do was to give her more time.  If she did nothing, she would probably be dead in 6 months.  With chemo, she might be able to make 12-18.  Obviously, our hearts were pretty low after this visit. 

We felt it important to get a second opinion so we confirmed a meeting with MD Anderson in Houston for the end of January.  The more we studied, it became apparent that chemo would be very difficult for Pam.  I continued to be disturbed about what could be done for Pam.  As I thought and prayed about the situation, an impression came to me that I should call the person who does my taxes.  I dismissed the thought with the idea that it was too early to make contact.  Afterall, I usually wait until the deadline anyway.  However, the impression continued to come to me so I finally relented and called Rob.  We chatted about taxes for a few minutes and we started to end the call when he asked about the family.  I told him about Pam and he told me the story of young man who was dying from another problem but a Doctor in Texas helped him and he was doing great today.  He referred me to his parents and I called the mother to learn more.  She was so enthused about sharing her son's story and I discussed the possibility of trying something different.  We made contact with the Doctor and confirmed a meeting following our trip to MD Anderson.

The MD Anderson trip went about the same as Huntsman.  Can't cure stomach cancer but they have had good success in prolonging life for a few months longer.  They did share that the chemo was pretty toxic and that after several sessions, some patients can't continue and the cancer comes back.  The other challenge is that both Huntsman and MD Anderson confirmed that she would have to be on chemo for the rest of her life.  Having gone through about 8 rounds with my Mom, I knew this was not going to something Pam would ever recover from.

From there, we stopped in Texas and the Doctor explained some things about cancer that were new. He gave Pam a list of things she could do to fight the cancer and felt it would help.  The first positive news we had for some time.  So, we left and Pam and the family started to fast and pray so she  could be guided to make the right decision.  At the end of January, Pam decided to forego chemo and go down a path that had the best chance for her to keep her strength and fight the cancer. 

Since then, Pam has followed a strict diet, bought a modulator (call us if interested) and had significant dental work done (this is interesting) and has been able to maintain her health beyond what chemo would have provided.  We are realistic and understand what Pam is dealing with.  However, our faith and hope in the Savior allows for the possibility of a miracle.  We know a miracle would not have been possible with chemo.  Pam is doing her part and if it is the Lord's will, she will have one.  Of course, your prayers and thoughts may help to convince the Lord that a miracle is appropriate in her case.  So, please feel free to remember Pam in her quest to be cancer free  With your prayers and the Lord's help, her quest may yet prove successful. 

I no longer take for granted our 35th wedding anniversary.  In fact, every smile, every conversation, every kiss, every hug, every opportunity to help her, every moment with her...is special.  Why does it take a challenge like this to help us understand how much we love someone?

I do want to thank our kids (that includes our son and daughters-in-law) for their love and support.  They have been fantastic and have all made special trips home to be with and help Mom.  We still have Mandi, Kristyn and Kari at home and they are working hard to help Mom.  Pam's family have also been great as her sister and brothers have visited to lift her spirit and help with some needs around the house.  Having to work out of state, I really appreciate all they have done.  We also have great home and visiting teachers, a great Bishopric and Relief Society leaders, and many others who have performed many acts of service that have meant a lot to us during this challenge.

Pam is a fighter and has been a great example of courage, faith and determination.  Jennifer has volunteered to maintain this blog for the family to keep those of you up to date on Pam's quest.  I definitely appreciate her efforts to share Pam's story as I know many of you have her in your prayers.

Best wishes to you and your family from the Mullis Family!